The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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