I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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