i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
