Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
