Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dick very happy bro
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
