does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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