I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
