I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
