listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
