also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
