Got a toothbrush?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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