Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
