They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
