like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
