Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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