Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
