I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was confusing and full of hummus
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
