"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
