He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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