Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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