Who did Billy Mays play for?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
