Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
