woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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