I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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