have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
