i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
