I hate all girls vehemently.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
