someone get that fucking seahorse.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it was like eating out sand paper
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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