I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
