There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
