Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
