RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
