dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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