Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
