My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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