i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
