just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
