did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
