Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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