Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
