he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
