i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
