Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
