dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
