I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
