I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
