so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
