What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
