Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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