I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
