I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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